Wednesday, June 22, 2011

10 Lessons Learned Lately

Thought I would share a few of the things I have learned lately...

1. When buying exercise DVD's, know that you must not only play them, but do them for them to effectively work.  You cannot lose weight or get fit thru osmosis, or watching them while you clean the house or multitask the million in one other things on your to do list.  I have tried, sadly it is not so.

2. Just because something is funny in your head - does not necessarily mean it will be funny when it comes out of your mouth.  Especially when you seem to lack comedic timing.  When this happens, trying to explain your pure comedic genius will just further the stunned and pained expressions of your audience.  Often moving from uncomfortable to embarrassing. More wine will generally help this situation - at least tell yourself that, and excuse yourself to retrieve some.

3. It may be a good idea to, even if rather quickly, glance at yourself in a mirror at least once before leaving your house.  This may alleviate you finding out you spent most the day with toothpaste on your chin, or a My Little Pony sticker in your eyebrow.

4. Five year olds who are learning to read - will read everything they can get their little hands on. Everything.  And proceed to retell said things to complete strangers out in the world.  Smile, and remind yourself that you love them.  They were made cute so they would survive.

5. Just because it happened that way in a movie, it doesn't mean it will in real life.  Telling off your boss (even when he is a sleazeball and it is deserved) will not get you a great theme song playing in the background and a round of applause from your fellow employees.  It will however get you fired.

6. Sometimes less is more.  And sometimes more is what is needed.  Especially when you are talking about sleep.  More is usually needed, 3 hours just isn't enough.  Unless you are trying out for a part in "Night of the Living Dead", then 3 may be just fine.

7. If you are tired but can't sleep, surfing the net aimlessly will only make the hours pass and give you a headache.  It will not put you to sleep.  Reading a spy novel will also keep you awake.  Counting backwards from 200, on the other hand, works like a charm. Or copious amounts of wine.  Though one makes you feel a helluva lot better in the morning than the other!

8. After going to the bathroom, double check that your skirt isn't tucked into your undies.  Not all people will point this out, and you may unwittingly be giving half the town a show.

9.  Flower godmothers/godfathers do still exist.  Thank goodness for them.

10. Frame of mind can really be the ultimate weapon for turning a bad day, good.  That and presents.

What lessons have your learnt lately?


jill conyers said...

Hi. New visitor and now follower via BF. Great lessons learned!

Stop by and say hi :)

Mrs. Claus said...

LOL!!  I am laughing this morning. . . and I needed it!  Thanks!

~ Mona said...

Love it!  Thanks for the smile.  Great post!
~ Mona : )

Kelly said...

You can laugh at me anytime, LOL!!!

Kelly said...

You can laugh at me anytime, LOL!!! Glad I could help!!

Kelly said...

Welcome Jill :) Lessons provide great learning and great blog fodder!

Kristen said...

You should make posters. :)

Kelly said...

I need a new job now....

paula devi . said...

3 & 8 are mine.  That tricky little bit of toothpaste coming out of the side of your mouth - no I am not drooling, I'm just . . . . Oh God!

I once left Bloomingdales in one of my wide, flowing ORANGE dresses and walked through the store from the loo out onto Lexington Avenue and it took me two or three blocks to catch my reflection in a mirror.  I didn't stop for a second.  Only smiled and untucked the back of my dress from my panties.  Thankfully it would take Godzilla in a bikini to catch a New Yorker's eye.  

Kelly said...

That darned white stuff!!!  Ha - loved the imagery:)  I think the key is to let the embarrassment go, and it passes a lot quicker that way !!!


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