My whole life sometimes seems like a balancing act, and sometimes I just throw caution to the wind and go with my inner child (like playing in the river in my undies when I should be working). Why does this ever changing equilibrium seem so elusive? Perhaps being a Gemini and having my two sides pulling at each other is to blame. Perhaps. Perhaps in some ways I am just a very simple girl trying to navigate in this very complex world.
Everything in moderation, is a good motto to have, and truthfully, I usually am pretty good at that. I can usually not stuff myself full of chocolate if given a whole box. Though essentially I like to take a little bite of each of them and then put them back. Times like these its nice to have just me and my peanut here, as we can both fully appreciate this desired tasting technique. A bag of chips, can last us both a week, and we can usually refrain from not using up a a whole package of sprinkles (preferred cupcake accessories) in one sitting - usually :)
I find in my growth and age wisdom slowly starting to seep its way through my consciousness. And in my search for happiness, cuz after all, isn't that what we all are striving for? Whatever that may mean to us? I have found that I am really happy with the person I have come to be.
Willpower gets a little low when watching re-runs of my favourite shows, or staying up until the wee hours of the morning creating when I know full well I really should be getting at least some sleep. Even when I know what is going to happen on the show, there is a thirst to see what will happen. When creating, I just get on a high, and time and space are irrelevant. I even have to remind myself to eat!
Here's where life gets tough for me. Friendships. I'm one of those people who cherishes these. And in some ways, still views them through childlike eyes. I am loyal to a fault, and would do anything for a friend. The problem is, there are many people out there who view friendships very differently than me. Which in its own way is good, because as my mom always used to say, this world would be in trouble with more than one of me!! And differences are what make this world so wonderful. But it is also what makes it so heart wrenching.
I still believe in those friendships that occur in two individuals that results in that everlasting bond. The kind spit packs and blood sisters are made from. Unfortunately as we get older, distance, money, husbands and wives, hormones and politics often get in the way. Sometimes letting go of old friends is an option that is chosen, for some. The pain of separation was written beautifully from one of my high school friends, here. Who ironically caused me quite a bit of it when we unsuspectingly parted ways.
Letting go of people, things and ideas can be difficult. Goodbyes have never been one of my strong suits, and for someone who feels things very deeply, downright painful at times. And for one who still believes in a handshake and pinky swear, adulthood has its challenges. But I am learning that the truer I am to my authentic self, the closer it brings me to people who share my views. And discovering, or sometimes re-discovering kindred spirits can't be anything but good! They make this girl's heart smile :)
I will leave you with one of my favourite songs Any Day Now by the Watchmen. And wow, I just googled the lyrics, apparently I've been singing the chorus wrong, oh well, I like my version better !
If you see me standing a little funny, with my nose all scrunched up, I am trying to balance like a one legged man, waiting for my any day now...